Blue Coat Ceremony

We had our version of eighth-grade graduation for school today, where they told us all the wonderfully stressful things that will happen to us in our final year and how we are going to be lucky to get three hours of sleep per night. And any food other than take-out pizza. Thanks, all, that was very inspiring...

So I'm feeling the need to study even more than usual. So much need, I'm actually studying! (Until I started writing this blog post...) Except my lecture notes have been making me fall asleep. I took a break and set up pizza (good pizza, not silly take-out pizza) and bread dough. My favorite bread, too, a delectable oats&honey loaf. I took a break from making it because I was having trouble NOT eating it, and I was worried about gaining weight. As I have now gained weight anyway, even without tasty bread, there seems no point in making anything less than delectable. At least this way I stand of a chance of turning down the many less appealing foods that might tempt me, since they are just SO obviously inferior.

As for next year, though...eeeh. I will have to talk with my GI doctor, but I suspect if I try to do the no-sleep, lousy-food, high-stress routine they tell us we are in for, I will relapse and be miserable. I already feel like I'm balanced way too precariously on the edge of prepared/not prepared--like I am going to have to put more effort into relearning things because I only half-learned them the first time. It doesn't help that the last exam for large animal really, really underscored the

So it will be dependent on my ability to generate a sense of zen and peacefulness despite all the craziness, ultimately. No pressure.

I take comfort in the conversation I had with one of our professors, who said, "4th year doesn't have to be as stressful as people find it..." I'm not sure exactly how one goes about making it non-stressful, but the fact the bf is spending the summer off on his own special learning experience will definitely free up my time for rotations. I really slacked off on learning russian this last year, though, so it's going to be a tough time not talking with him--as part of his program, he is supposed to keep communication in any other languages to a minimum. I can still send him pictures, he can still write me letters (if they're in russian).

But in the meantime, I must figure out this zen thing. Hmmm, how to be zen while studying three years worth of material on top of daily lectures and clinics...

Really ought-tos

I really ought to study more.
I really ought to get more sleep.
I really ought to get fewer groceries (but...chocolate!)
I really ought to not sign up for an overloaded semester...oh, wait, already did.

It's hard to be enthusiastic in anything other than short bursts right now. I like when school is neat, clean, limited to lecture halls and labs with pristine microscopes. But this semester I'm dissecting cows and horses, and must venture out every week to work with live ones in a cold barn. I'm dreading the commute more than anything. And some part of my brain decided it would be good experience for me to sign up for shifts in the large animal barn and a job in the small animal surgery. Which, since they are considerate of students having lecture during the day, has all the shifts going from 6:30 pm to 8 am the next morning. Granted, it's on call, but then that just means getting called in at 4 am, the morning of a school day. And buses don't run at that time. Was I insane? *nodding head vigorously*

But all this griping is done on the assumption that I'm temporarily ruffled and, once I start in on all of the above, its sheer fascinatingness will win me over.

For now, though, hand me the chocolate.