Blue Coat Ceremony

We had our version of eighth-grade graduation for school today, where they told us all the wonderfully stressful things that will happen to us in our final year and how we are going to be lucky to get three hours of sleep per night. And any food other than take-out pizza. Thanks, all, that was very inspiring...

So I'm feeling the need to study even more than usual. So much need, I'm actually studying! (Until I started writing this blog post...) Except my lecture notes have been making me fall asleep. I took a break and set up pizza (good pizza, not silly take-out pizza) and bread dough. My favorite bread, too, a delectable oats&honey loaf. I took a break from making it because I was having trouble NOT eating it, and I was worried about gaining weight. As I have now gained weight anyway, even without tasty bread, there seems no point in making anything less than delectable. At least this way I stand of a chance of turning down the many less appealing foods that might tempt me, since they are just SO obviously inferior.

As for next year, though...eeeh. I will have to talk with my GI doctor, but I suspect if I try to do the no-sleep, lousy-food, high-stress routine they tell us we are in for, I will relapse and be miserable. I already feel like I'm balanced way too precariously on the edge of prepared/not prepared--like I am going to have to put more effort into relearning things because I only half-learned them the first time. It doesn't help that the last exam for large animal really, really underscored the

So it will be dependent on my ability to generate a sense of zen and peacefulness despite all the craziness, ultimately. No pressure.

I take comfort in the conversation I had with one of our professors, who said, "4th year doesn't have to be as stressful as people find it..." I'm not sure exactly how one goes about making it non-stressful, but the fact the bf is spending the summer off on his own special learning experience will definitely free up my time for rotations. I really slacked off on learning russian this last year, though, so it's going to be a tough time not talking with him--as part of his program, he is supposed to keep communication in any other languages to a minimum. I can still send him pictures, he can still write me letters (if they're in russian).

But in the meantime, I must figure out this zen thing. Hmmm, how to be zen while studying three years worth of material on top of daily lectures and clinics...

Mad Cooking Skillz: It looks like parasites!

I has 'em.

Granted, the last three things I made didn't really turn out, as such. But this one is awesome, I promise! And healthy, which is a huge step out of the ordinary for me. It's just wrong, though, that Whole Foods has cheaper orzo and kalamata olives than the local generic grocery store. On one level it makes sense: Orzo = specialty item, Whole Foods = specialty store, therefore Whole Foods = better orzo selection. But the idea of anything being cheaper there is an alien concept.

I needed the orzo to make salad for the celebratory end-o-finals potluck my class is holding. We have a competition for pathology/parasitology themed foods, and orzo...I mean, have you seen it? It looks almost exactly like little lucilia bots, without the hint of ridges.

I wanted kalamata olives to simulate cuterebra, although really I just wanted kalamata olives because they are tasty. And then I added so much spinach and tomato that it doesn't really look frighteningly parasitic at all. But my main goal is to bring something that people will eat, which never seems to happen when I bring cookies. Even the cross-section-of-the-pons cookies I brought last year completely failed to disappear, and they were delicious in addition to being neuroanatomically correct. Well, correct-ish. It's hard to prevent refrigerator cookies from getting a little lopsided. Those would have been neat to do this year--I could have added red hots and called it nigropallidal encephalomalacia.

Self diagnosis

So the question is what exactly brought on persistent cramps today? My bet is on a combination of raw carrots and iron supplement, on top of my GI tract's general disgruntlement with the world ever since I forced metronidazole on it. However, the reuben sandwich (with extra sauerkraut) and coleslaw may have also acted as predisposing forces. Starting last night and continuing all of today, I've been doubling over every couple of minutes with a fresh round of abdominal pain. I'd been a bit tender in increasing increments after Wednesday's endoscopy, but this is actual pain.

And it's exhausting. It's a good thing our winter break goes for three weeks, because I can't imagine how I would handle classes on top of this. As it is, I don't see a way I can keep up the surgery tech job. Sometimes I feel fine (well, not this week so much, actually). But it's so unpredictable, I don't think there's any way I could ensure I'd be able to work any given night. I know that there's never a way to guarantee you won't come down with a stomach bug on a day you have to work, but I think you can usually count on not having that problem a routine basis.

My hope is that with meds and very careful eating, I won't have this set of problems during school. Even if I do, there's a trance-like quality to studying which can cover up minor discomfort.

I find it interesting that I am much less resistant to the idea of starting meds before seeing the doctor once I'm actually in pain. "Gimme anything that'll help!"

Hopefully the copious amounts of gatorade, pepto bismol, and avoidance of carrots will do the trick and I'll be back to normal tomorrow.