Meltdown

It's funny, but I can now manage to have panic attacks both when I am studying and when I am not studying.

Yesterday, in histo lab, I was working my way through the slides, with that sort of emotionally neutral contentedness that accompanies good lab time. Then the student next to me started talking with the professor about how worried she was about the exam. She said she'd been looking at old exams, and the level of detail they had, and she just didn't know how she was going to manage it. She sounded pretty freaked out. And this student spends way more time studying in lab than I do. So by the time the professor had reassured her, I was starting to feel freaked out. Working through the slides only emphasized how much we have to know by next week, so studying became this battle of nerves.

Then today. I was at home on the farm and had to check on cows this morning, and I spent time with the dogs and cats too. Then there was this chest of drawers to go pick up...The ENTIRE afternoon was spent between thrift stores and the other farm, with no chance to study. As I got more stressed out at time passing, my ever-so-supportive family was sympathetic and worried--but not particularly helpful in letting me go study.

Now I've been sitting at the computer the last half hour being really stressed out, paralyzed by the prospect of trying to study tonight and still get to the scheduled events that, y'know, it would be nice to be at. Outside, the light's gone all rosy and imminent-twilightish, which is a good indication that it's time for me to log off and get around to important things.

Like, oh, studying comes to mind.